Feng Shui for the Bedroom
by DeAnna Radaj, Allied ASID, Bante Design, LLC

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, our thoughts turn to romance and passion-how to get it and keep it!  One of the most frequently asked questions of me is “How can I find romance/soul mate?”  (It should also be noted that I’ve also been asked how to get rid of a partner as well!).  It is very easy to utilize basic feng shui and interior design principles into your romance area and bedroom to create the “perfect” atmosphere for romance.

First off, you should locate the “romance” or “partnership” area of your home and/or bedroom.  This area is the FAR RIGHT corner of the home/room when standing at the doorway looking into the space.  This is the area you really want to pay attention to if you’d like to attract/keep relationship in your life.  (It should also be noted that relationships can mean friendships or business partnerships as well, however, for the purpose of this article, we are referring to romantic relationships).  This area should feature items in TWOS-think a couple.  If things are displayed in ONES (solitary) or in THREES (a third person will come between you and your partner literally or figuratively) change it!  It is common for a single person to primarily have things displayed in this very way-CHANGE IT!

Think romance.  This will differ for each person-what’s romantic for me, might not mean romance for you.  Here you can place romantic pictures, fabrics, flowers…create a romantic vignette.  I did this with an older client in her bedroom:  we placed a small table with 2 small chairs in her romance area.  We then set a “romantic tableau” with 2 candles, roses and a picture of an Irish landscape.  She had traveled to Ireland and thought it was the most beautiful place she had ever visited.  She then lit the candles every night before she went to bed to increase or “bring light” to her intention of bringing more romance into her life.  A few months later she started seeing a gentleman socially and is very happy.

Color also plays a part in this area.  Use RED if you are in a committed/legal relationship, PINK if you are single and looking to attract a relationship or PEACH/CORAL if you are single and looking, but not for a relationship (be careful w/peach!).  It should be noted that any tone, tint or shade of the above mentioned colors would work.  Bring the color in with flowers, fabric, artwork, candles…be creative.

In feng shui, the relationship area is represented by EARTH energy.  Items made from the earth symbolize this: tile, stone, terra cotta…or by earth tones or square shaped items.  Look at this area to see if any of the above is visible in this area.  If it is and you are still having problems, add FIRE energy.  In the productive cycle (increasing) of feng shui, fire produces earth.  Therefore, by adding FIRE you will be boosting the EARTH energy of the relationship area.  To bring in FIRE add candles (!), pictures of famous couples or triangular shaped items.  An example of this is: 2 pink/red candles-lit in a square holder.  Easy!

The bedroom in general should be a place of refuge and sanctuary from the rest of the world.  There should be no TVs, computers or exercise equipment in this room!  There should only be 2 things going on in the bedroom and watching TV or working on the computer is not on the list.  If you can’t move these items to another location, cover them with a screen or fabric panels to disguise them.  Also, lie down in your bed and look at what you see from this position.  This is, subconsciously, the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see before you drift off to sleep-make sure the view is good!  Is it the bathroom?  Close the door.  Is it a blank wall?  Hang some artwork.  Get the idea?  Speaking of artwork, the bedroom is not the place for pictures of your kids, family and/or friends-the only people in pictures should be of you and your current partner!  No old boyfriends please!  Again, you don’t want “outside disturbances” bothering you in your private, romantic sanctuary!

The bedroom is also a place to splurge and really treat yourself.  Buy the most expensive sheets, blankets and pillow that you can afford.  We spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping so we should get the most out of it.  Plus, a high thread count cotton sheet lasts longer and is softer and offers more comfort than it’s cheaper, low thread count cotton/poly blends.  Buy organic cotton if possible if allergies or environmental sensitivities or concerns are an issue.  These are available at most large bedding stores and comparable in price.

Clutter should not exist in this room-PERIOD.  Anyone who has ever taken one of my workshops knows the dangers and ills of clutter and what chaos it causes, however, here in the bedroom, where you are trying to establish peace and calm-clutter does not fit.  The rules again are: if you don’t use, wear it or love it, get rid of it.  I don’t care how much it cost or who gave it to you, it isn’t doing you any good sitting in the closet or (heaven forbid) under the bed.  Donate it so someone who can use it, wear it or love it can have it.  Clutter also collects dust and is hard to maintain-again, counter productive to the mood of the bedroom.  This example has come more times than I care to admit exist: knife and gun collections in the bedroom.  This is a no-brainer-get them out of this room if you must have them.  Knives and guns symbolize violence and (again) are not part of romance.  If there is absolutely no other place for them, place them securely in a closet, not under the bed.  Think of what this symbolizes whether you are romantically involved or not.

Lastly, if you’ve done all of these things and this area still isn’t working for you…check the floor plan of your home/bedroom and see if there is a missing corner.  Your home/rooms should be square or rectangular.  However, due to additions or attached garages, the home is L-shaped, thusly, there is a missing area.  Check if this is the case and if the missing area is the relationship area.  This was the case for another client.  Her home, due to a kitchen expansion, now had no relationship area.  This is an easy fix though!  We really worked on the bedroom to make it a romantic sanctuary for her.  Then we went outside and symbolically created a corner to square off the house with a bird feeder and some garden statuary and flowers.  Three weeks after she did this, she met someone whom she started dating.  They just got engaged this Christmas and are getting married!  Now, if feng shui totally responsible?  Maybe, maybe not.  However, creating the intention of romance and bringing forth the feelings that this is what you want in your life and consciously making an effort to do so by manipulating your environment is.

Valentine’s Day is a special day of the year-but shouldn’t every day be Valentine’s Day for our loved ones and ourselves?  With feng shui and color, you can make your bedroom the Valentine’s Day retreat you want and need all year long.