The Business of Design: Toxicity in the Workplace
by DeAnna Radaj, Allied ASID, Bante Design, LLC

In this TBOD installment, I’d like to address the issue of toxicity in the workplace-not in health terms, rather, toxic people who can literally and figuratively make you sick at work. We all know these people and have come across them throughout our professional, and personal lives. They are the teachers, bosses, co-workers, vendors/reps and employees that can make your stomach turn or give you the proverbial “pain in the neck”.

Ruthie O Grant, author of “I thought I Was the Crazy One”, gives some clues as to what makes up a toxic person:

1. People who never take responsibility for their actions. They tend to blame everyone else for things that go wrong, make excuses as to why something didn’t get done that was their responsibility. They are always right no matter what facts there are to prove the contrary.
2. They have no compassion. No one else counts except for them, they are the only one with feelings, and they are the one that creates chaos, craziness and conflict.
3. They have no problem-solving skills-instead, they tend to escalate problems with their behavior.

OK, so now we’ve identified toxic behaviors, and in lieu of running off to a deserted island and not dealing with society, we have to deal with these people. Dr Richard Brinkman details communication styles of toxic people and how to speak to or deal with these people.

Tanks - A Get it done behavior, make something happen. They perceive that things are out of their control, which makes them react aggressively. To diffuse this person, allow them to vent-but not for too long. To stop the “venting”, interrupt using their name and repeating the last thought they stated. Be direct and to the point by addressing “the bottom line of the issue at hand”. This defuses any potential misinterpretations that may be perceived by the “tank”.

Snipers - There are 2 kinds: friendly and malicious. A friendly sniper is looking for attention. Therefore, when dealing with this behavior, give attention to another POSITIVE behavior, and they will adopt that behavior. A malicious sniper will make a negative comment with nothing to back it up; they just want you to look bad. Here, diffuse them by directly restating their concern and then ask, “What’s going on?” This will call attention the issue they raised. Another option is to state the higher intent and ask how their comments are relevant to that intent. Once the sniper is diffused, you can clear the air in a positive manner.

Know-it-All - They dominate and control all conversations. Your goal should be to open their mind to other viewpoints. These people will pick apart your flaws so know what you are talking about and be prepared to back up your statements (you should do this no matter who you are dealing with!). Blending is a great technique to use with this personality type. Associate with their doubts and desires. (Blending is 55% body language, 38% voice modulation and 7% understanding/intent/criteria. Copy their body language to make it seem you are on the same page, watch voice volume and speed and know what it is you are “discussing”).

THINK they Know-it-All -We all know this type; this is the person who talks as if they know everything about every topic that exists in the history of man. Stop these people by giving them some recognition, but ask clarifying questions to expose the incorrect issues and always give them a “face-saving” escape; you don’t want to turn them into a sniper! (i.e. A great example of this type of person is Cliff from the TV show Cheers).

Whiners - The best thing to do with this type is to get them involved in the solution to the problem they are whining about. When I was in management, I explicitly told all employees that if they had an “issue” that I would listen and help them solve problem, but they needed to come to the table with 3 ways that they would solve problem. I didn’t care if the solutions were feasible or not, but that they helped to take ownership of the problem and not to rely on me to “save the day”. The root of whining is in their feeling of being helpless. The best time to stop them is when they start repeating themselves. Get them to pinpoint the EXACT problem and problem-solve from there. If these steps don’t work, then you must draw the line as to what you will or won’t listen to.

Negative People - These are the people who no matter what the situation will always see what’s wrong with it. These people are also known as “emotional vampires”, they will literally suck the energy out of any situation. First, in dealing with this type, do not let their behavior affect you-do not sink down to their level. This personality type is usually unhappy with their lot in life and they need to make everyone else feel just as bad. Don’t fall for it! The best way to deal with this person is the “polarity response”-suggest the opposite behavior to that already in place and sees what happens!

Nothing People - This is a person who does and says nothing-everything is neutral. Here you need to ask them open-ended questions so they are forced to speak and elaborate on their answers.

We have now identified toxic people in our environment (like we didn’t already know who they were!), and how to talk to them one-on-one, but how can we stop this behavior from ruining your project team, office or home? Peter Frost, author of Toxic Emotions at Work, writes “ the tone in an organization tends to be set from the top?so toxicity is often a top-down phenomenon. The higher up the toxic person is, the more widely spread is the pain, and the more people there behave in the same way.” He defines toxic environments as stemming from toxic bosses, poorly handled mergers or changes, abrasive clients, inhumane policies and practices, or simply the stress and grind of everyday working interactions.

As a manager, you are handling toxic situations or people daily. A good leader knows this. Effective “toxin handlers” notice others who are suffering from this and try to have empathy for the person (co-worker, family member?). Letting your employees vent to a certain extent about “toxic situations or people” helps a great deal or acting as a buffer from “toxic” policies in the organization and redirecting it into a more positive light.

Handling a toxic boss or other person in authority is much trickier. Often, there is little subordinates can do by themselves except “keep your head down or stay away from the toxic person as much as possible or quit. Usually, you can try and find another co-worker or manager who can act as a buffer or who can help “push back” by getting the manager removed (very low chance unless very well-documented) or by getting transferred to another department/team. First step should always be to address the situation directly stating that behavior (be specific with exact dates and times) is undermining their (manager’s) goals. This should get their attention, as you’ve stated the problem in terms that directly affect them. If behavior persists, you must decide if toxic problem is organization wide or just situational. If it’s organizational, a job change may be in order. Life is too short and we spend too much time at work to be miserable.